This morning this Gospel passage came to mind during silent worship:
When he returned to Capernaum after some days, it was reported that he was at home. So many gathered around that there was no longer room for them, not even in front of the door; and he was speaking the word to them. Then some people came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. And when they could not bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him; and after having dug through it, they let down the mat on which the paralytic lay. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” Now some of the scribes were sitting there, questioning in their hearts, “Why does this fellow speak in this way? It is blasphemy! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” At once Jesus perceived in his spirit that they were discussing these questions among themselves; and he said to them, “Why do you raise such questions in your hearts? Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Stand up and take your mat and walk’? But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the paralytic— “I say to you, stand up, take your mat and go to your home.” And he stood up, and immediately took the mat and went out before all of them; so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!” Mk 2: 1-12 (NRSV)
That's quite a dramatic scene. Jesus "speaking the word" to the crowd when suddenly this mat with a man lying on it starts to descend in front of him. (Jesus didn't notice some bits of mud falling on his head? Or maybe he chose to ignore it.) And the first thing Jesus says to the paralytic is "Your sins are forgiven." Why? Maybe because back then people considered illness and misfortune as a result of sinful behavior? Or perhaps Jesus read into the man's heart and knew he was troubled by past sins and wanted to assure him of the Father's forgiveness. Either way, this healing is highly charged with symbolism. I often feel paralyzed -- if not by some current dilemma or inability to decide which course to take, then quite often by the memory of part wrongdoing on my part for which I am still berating myself. Jesus' assurance that I am forgiven, that the Father is not waiting to reprove or scold or punish me is a powerful gift that cures my paralysis.
Picking up the mat is also a detail rich in meaning. It signifies taking into my hands that thing I was leaning on, the bad habit or other false consolation, the excuse for not doing what I've been prompted to do -- taking it into my hands and purposefully putting it aside. I will lean on it no longer.
"Go to your home." Stop hanging around, wasting time where you don't belong (physically or mentally). Go to where you need to be, accomplish the things you were meant to accomplish.
I see a similar symbolism behind the stories of Jesus' restoring the widow's son and Lazarus to life. Jesus conquers the lifelessness caused by unrelieved remorse for past sins and restores my spiritual and psychic vitality. I can move, act, experience life in all its fullness and be a companion and collaborator with others.
"Your sins are forgiven." Again, that central and most important message of Jesus' ministry. The Father doesn't hold grudges. He's not the great Scorekeeper in the sky. New beginnings are possible. I can move on.