Monday, October 30, 2006

A moment of anostalgia
Je n'aime pas la nostalgie
C'est une maîtresse inassouvie aux yeux trop bleus
Michel Rivard

You won't find it in the DSM-IV, but I've been aware for some time now that I suffer from a rare emotional disorder known as anostalgia. I was born without a nostalgia gene. You never catch me looking back with longing on an era of history or an episode of my life. Sure, life was simpler, water was purer (government too), bananas were cheaper, and my work schedule wasn't as insane...but I can always find some defect in whatever past era you care to name that makes me glad it's past.

This morning though, I find myself looking back fondly on the first few months of my older son's life. You know, when babies take a morning nap. He used to get me up at 5:30 or 6:00. Then around 8:00, his little belly filled with warm milk and smelling sweet as only a baby wrapped in a fresh diaper can, he'd fall asleep again for a couple of hours.

Leaving his room, I'd hear the schoolbus grind to a squawking stop to pick up the little boy and girl next door. That sound unleashed an irresistible longing to sleep from somewhere deep inside me, and I'd go lie down too.

Life itself melted away for about an hour or so. Nothing existed but peaceful sleep. If there's any time that I would wish to relive, it's that one.

I can be fairly certain that one day I will....

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are moderated. The decision of the blog author is final.